Talking on the phone for hours,
Tweeting about how he can’t live without me.
I’m the only girl in the world that his heart beats for,
Though his body rages in heat,
Taking advantage of every opportunity for a dame to accompany him underneath the sheets.
What’s worse is that he SWEARS he doesn’t cheat.
He has NEEDS that I just can’t meet.
I have unfulfilled promises of commitment.
Bragging to my friends about how I’m glad he’s the one that I fell in love with.
Making love to her but thinking of me.
Questioning why faithful is something that he simply cannot be.
Body shivering, toe curling, sweat dripping satisfaction,
Leads to mind boggling, soul clenching, immense regret in the aftermath of the action.
Dare me to see the truth,
Yet I pass, along with time,
Consequences never become realized.
Cheating becomes a staple of his life.
Never viewed as trife but rather something that just feels so right.
I stay because I know where his heart is.
Though his body, spirit, and mind waver I adamantly state that he’s all mine.
Holding on to this notion that disagrees with facts.
Eyes closed, heart open, and senses detached.
A sure way to get that shot of dismay,
Failing to see the shooter, when I loaded the bullets, pulled the trigger, gun pointed this way.
Wounded heart and all,
I still had the strength to crawl,
On knees pleading to make things be,
Equivalent to the vision that true lover’s see.
All the while I should have been more like Maci and had the courage to leave.
Three years of waiting for him to come around,
Though he’s always had something up his sleeve,
This time I don’t have time for nothing to go down,
Ish doesn’t need to hit the fan and leave its stench all around.
Had the Temptation to wish it would rain so that I could hide my tears,
He somehow chose to manifest one of my greatest fears,
He involuntarily declared the termination of us definitely,
By impregnating a woman two months after we stop dating exclusively,
My heart, mind, and soul didn’t even know how to feel.
Nothing that I had experienced was real!
The greatest crook that ever lived,
He gave me the bait,
Now I’m hooked.
Gasping for breath,
Even if he threw me back or I aggressively struggled for my freedom.
I’m going to covertly feel like I need him.
(December 16, 2009)