Flirtatious Friday: Who’s Paying For This?

Avoiding that awkward moment on a first date when the check comes…

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4 thoughts on “Flirtatious Friday: Who’s Paying For This?

  1. Yeah. I think the whole idea of testing a man by reaching for the check is risky. Ladies could end up disappointed. And most of us really do want to just be taken care of on the FIRST date. I once tried to pay for the second date and the guy seemed a little annoyed with me. So then I though to myself, “Fine. I’ll enjoy and stop trying to control stuff.” lol

    • Yea, in my experiences, it can be emasculating. Me offering to pay for the check, can send the message of: “There is not a thing that you can do for me.” LOL. So there is a thin line. I was totally not trying to send that message and totally wouldn’t want to send the message that I didn’t want him to pay for it (because of course I do). “Ain’t I a Woman” <–Maya Angelou reference

      Thanks for sharing Amber!

  2. I remember having this conversation before with others; and it is interested how individuals have their opinions and viewpoints on the subject. I am still standing tall after 49 years soon to be 50, which I believe it is essential for a woman to let a man be a man, if he has an issue with you not compromising the date by pretending or should I say reaching for the check, or maybe even truly desiring to pay for the bill. No matter what and how the situation may take place; it is important that we (women) take the necessary steps in knowing what you want, and knowing how to handle what you don’t want.

    Sure, we all have to compromise but never compromise on a man responsibilities or on your responsibilities as a woman. Just make this plain and clear, I know this girls/woman who do not know how to cook, and I asked, her why don’t you know how to cook, now remind you this woman is well over 30 and has children. Her response to me was because the men she dated always cooked, ok, that works for her; it will never fly with me, now you can ask me why, here’s my response; because it is natural and is an innate element for a woman to know how cook….now I know I might get some women to disagree with this statement, nonetheless, I did not say, that all she should do or she is not a woman because she can’t cook, I said, she should know how to cook; what you and your mate decide in your household is your business as long as it works for you.

    Back to the original question, I will never pay for a first date meal, nor will I ever pay for any date meal. Unless, I feel like it but it will have to be because I trust myself to know that I have someone who respects the fact I am paying for the date because I want to show my generosity or to show him my appreciation of his generosity. There is great benefit in a relationship, but those benefits can be respected and appreciated, both parties have to know the foundation, and the structure of that relationship and believe me, it always starts from the beginning. I really don’t want to debate rather the world is flat or round, but I will stand tall again and say, relationship is like a circle whatever you start with you will end with.

    Love your discussions
    Pastor Cobb

    • I can’t agree more with your last statement “whatever you start with, you will end with.” I think that is probably my motivation for not paying on the first date. I know that I am not truly interested in caring on that behavior for the duration of the relationship. I would feel unappreciated and unsatisfied in that type of situation. Not that all women would, but I totally would. I also agree with your statement about paying for the date to show generosity and appreciation…that’s totally true. After a man has demonstrated that he is capable and willing to court me, I have no problem showing my appreciation in many ways, including handling the check.

      Great insight!

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